COPS: Tokyo
by prpl pen
Summary: So, two police officers and a cameraman walk into a shrine... Stop me if you've heard this one before. Spam!fic written for Numisma. ONESHOT.


Officer Morikawa gave a quick, nervous look over his shoulder and turned back to his partner. "Asano," he said in a low voice, "I don't think I'm comfortable with this."

Asano shook his head, casually steering the patrol car with one hand. "Too late now. You signed all the papers already." He gave a hearty laugh.

Morikawa turned to the back of the patrol car with an apologetic look on his face. "I'm just not used to this," he said to their passenger. "I don't mean any disrespect."

The American cameraman only continued filming silently. Asano laughed again. "It's pointless to talk to him. He doesn't know any Japanese." He grinned over his shoulder at the cameraman. "Right, you dipshit? You're an ignorant moron, am I right?" The man continued filming, but gave a thumbs-up at Asano's words. He gave Morikawa a smug look. "Just pretend he isn't there."

Suddenly, the radio crackled into life. "We've got a domestic disturbance on Kaido street," came the dispatcher's voice. Morikawa raised an eyebrow. "Guess that's us." Asano gave an affirmative grunt.

In the rear of the squad car, the cameraman was panning between the two officers, sensing action was close at hand.

Morikawa grabbed the radio. "Morikawa here. We're right near there. Address?"

As the dispatcher rattled off the address and relayed the details, Asano turned the car left. His brow furrowed as he checked the street sign and slowed to a stop at the curb. Morikawa gave him an odd look. He shrugged in answer. "This is it."

"But..." Morikawa checked the address as he spoke, "There's nothing but a shrine here."

"This is it," Asano repeated.

With a slightly bemused expression on his face, Morikawa exited the patrol car. He opened the back door and the American jumped out eagerly, still filming. The two officers began to walk up the long flight of stairs that led to the shrine atop the hill. "I think someone's playing a joke," Morikawa muttered.

Asano only shrugged again.

Suddenly, a crash sounded through the air from the shrine above them, followed by a sharp yell of anger or pain. The two both broke into a jog as they scaled the steps. The American was right at their heels. They gained the top of the hill and Morikawa paused, momentarily confused by the scene he saw before him.

There was a young man, dressed in strange-looking red robes, his long hair bleached white. Nearby him was a young woman, high color in her cheeks. She was glaring at the young man, who wilted before her gaze. She looked furious.

The cameraman was already jogging ahead to get a clearer shot of the two. Asano raised a hand and shouted. "Oi! What's going on here?"

The woman, noticing the newcomers for the first time, gave a small wince. "Officers," she began, "there's been a mistake."

The young man scowled at her darkly, rubbing his jaw. "Damn right!" he shouted. "The mistake was marrying you in the first place!"

Morikawa looked from the woman to the man, flustered. "W-we...they said...domestic disturbance," he managed to stutter.

The woman blanched. "No, no. It's just a misunderstanding."

The young man gave a humorless bark of laughter. Asano squinted at him. ...Was he wearing _cat ears_? He shook his head; not important now. He raised his hands in a call for silence. "Perhaps, Mrs...?"

"Higurashi," she supplied.

"Yes, Mrs. Higurashi. Perhaps you can tell us what is going on here?"

"Well..." She inhaled deeply, looking uncertain. "It's just a misunderstanding, like I said--"

"What are you asking her for?" the young man broke in. "_She's_ the one at fault."

"Be _quiet_, Inuyasha," she spat through gritted teeth.

Morikawa gave a helpless look to his partner. Asano ignored him, now turning his attention to the young man. "The neighbors said there was a lot of shouting, and sounds of a fight. What can you tell us about that?"

The man--Inuyasha, apparently--scowled, looking away. "I just told her I was leaving," he said in a sullen voice.

"And..?" Asano prompted.

"...And she wouldn't let me."

Asano nodded, a dark look on his face. "So you struck her."

Inuyasha turned back to him with a look of fury. "Hell no! The bitch sat me!"

"You...sat on him?" Morikawa asked slowly. He gave her a quick once-over. She was a tiny thing; hardly a match for her husband and Morikawa doubted she could anyone any damage by sitting on them. She looked at the ground, her cheeks growing bright once more.

"I...I'm sorry, Inuyasha. You know I didn't mean it."

He snarled in answer. "Yeah? Tell that to my aching body." He rubbed his jaw again, and Asano could see the beginnings of a bruise there.

He blinked. Morikawa noticed too. "Wait, so she...and...you didn't fight back?"

"Of course not! Like she'd ever give me the chance to..." he muttered under his breath.

The cameraman was circling them like a shark, the lens an unblinking eye taking the whole scene in.

Asano exchanged a look with his partner and moved closer to the young man. "So, she hurt you." He paused, wetting his lips. "Does she do this...often?"

"Whenever she's pissed at me."

Mrs. Higurashi took a step forward. "Inuyasha, you know that's not true!"

"I know that _Kikyou_ wouldn't've treated me like this, that's for damn sure."

Higurashi's face turned beet red. "You promised! You _promised_ you wouldn't mention her again!" She stamped her foot.

"Yeah, well you _promised_ you'd take this fucking rosary off me, didn't you?" He shook his head. "That's it. I'm done. We're through. I've going back down the well and I'm _blocking it with a damn mountain, if that's what it takes_!"

"You just _try_ and make it there in one piece, buddy!" she shrieked in return.

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa_," Asano raised his hands for silence again. "Lady, are you threatening your husband with physical violence right in front of two police officers?" He threw an apologetic look toward Inuyasha. "We can stop this right now. Are you willing to press charges?"

The young man paused, seemingly dumbfounded by the idea. "Press...charges?"

"We can arrest her, help you get a restraining order." Asano flapped his hand vaguely.

Morikawa moved to Higurashi's side, grabbing her firmly by the arm. He was on alert; maybe this woman was secretly a judo champion or something.

"Anyway," Asano continued in a comforting voice, "How about it? Are you pressing charges?"

Higurashi's eyes widened. "No" she mouthed frantically.

Her husband paused, looking down at his feet. "I..."

Asano leaned in to hear his answer.

The only sound was the zooming of the camera as the American pulled in tight on Inuyasha.

His brows were knit tightly. Finally, he shook his head brusquely. "I couldn't do that to Kagome," he said in a low voice.

Higurashi gave a sigh of relief. She leaned as far forward as Morikawa's restraining arm would allow. "I'm so sorry, Inuyasha; I really am."

He wouldn't raise his gaze, only studied the ground at his feet.

"You know I love you. You know I would never want to hurt you."

Slowly, her husband nodded.

Asano cleared his throat. "Are you sure about this, sir? If you won't press charges because you're afraid--"

"No. It's okay. It was a mistake, like she said."

Asano narrowed his eyes.

"You're saying she didn't hurt you? You sure about that, sir?" His gaze wandered meaningfully to the bruise on Inuyasha's chin.

The young man brought a hand up to his jaw and rubbed it gingerly. "This? Oh. I...I just fell down."

Asano sighed. "All right, have it your way." He turned on his heel, lighting a cigarette as he began walking away.

Morikawa released his grip on Higurashi, and she flew to her husband's side, all tenderness now. "If you change your mind..."

"He won't." Higurashi smiled brightly.

Morikawa opened his mouth to speak, then shut it with a clack. He followed his partner, towards the steps leading from the shrine.

The American gave the scene once last sweep of his camera. Higurashi was cooing something to her husband, and he was scowling and looking embarrassed. As he turned off the camera and jogged back to catch his ride, he gave a satisfied smile. He'd been worried the culture would be too different to make for interesting television back in the States, but this was perfect. A familiar scenario, wrapped up in an exotic package; once you looked past the language (which would be dubbed over by a translator, of course) and the weird clothes (seriously, red pajamas and cat ears?), it was pretty much the same as back home.

The role reversal between the husband and wife was just the icing on the cake.


End file.
